They might also be at risk for other forms of physical and emotional violence. Having someone intoxicated on a consistent basis can be stressful and cause anxiety over what’s going to happen next. You might feel guilty about the situation, eventually leading to depression. Your loved one’s addiction might also start taking a financial toll. When someone with AUD lives in your household, the rest of your family members can be at risk for negative effects.
The don’ts of living with an alcoholic partner
All of this can leave you feeling like you are in a prison that you can’t escape. You may be feeling scared, resentful or even guilty about your loved one’s drinking, and this can slowly grind down your self-esteem and sense of worth. Beyond the emotional challenges, living with an alcoholic can also bring a greatly increased risk of domestic violence and abuse.
Living with an alcoholic often means navigating emotional turmoil, unpredictable behaviors, strained finances, and feelings of isolation. It affects your mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Whether you’re living with a functioning alcoholic, or someone with an alcohol dependency, life can be physically and emotionally draining. Learning how to deal with an alcoholic spouse as well as looking after yourself can be stressful and it’s likely you’ll need support to help you manage. We’ve put together some recommendations on how to look after yourself and the other people living in your household.
You should not accept bad behavior
- Setting boundaries, seeking professional help, and connecting with support groups are crucial steps in navigating addiction’s impact.
- Additionally, it is important to build good emotional habits and create a safe space for open communication.
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- It can be challenging to know where to turn, but there are actions you can take to help both yourself and your loved one through the difficulties posed by their drinking.
If the alcoholic is a parent, the effects of the situation will be lasting. There are many options available to help people who care about alcoholics. Groups like Al-Anon offer peer support and access to other resources. Find at least one option that feels comfortable for you and gives you someone to turn to when you are struggling with your situation. Maintain routines, have honest age-appropriate conversations, and seek professional support if needed. Organizations like NACoA offer resources to help children cope with living in an alcoholic household.
Living with an alcoholic requires balancing empathy with firm limits to create a path toward healing. This is when close friends and family come together to express their concerns in a structured and supportive way. An intervention should never feel like an ambush or attack but should be a safe space where your loved one hears how their drinking has impacted those around them.
Talk about it at proper time
Reach out to friends and family members who can provide emotional support and help you feel less alone. Consider joining a support group for families coping with alcohol dependency, such as Al-Anon or Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). These groups can provide a judgement-free space to discuss your experiences and connect with others going through similar situations. Alcoholics suffer from an obsession and compulsion that are beyond their mental control.
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Living with an alcoholic can mean dealing with mood swings, impulsiveness and emotional outbursts and without clear boundaries, their problems can start to take over your life. If you are living with an alcoholic partner, some boundaries to consider include having your own bank account, sleeping in separate beds, and not enabling their behaviour. For example, you might decide not to get into a car with them if they are intoxicated or set boundaries around drinking at home.
Family members can be a lifeline for the alcoholic spouse, but outside help is often necessary. Start by contacting a professional, such as an addiction counselor or your family doctor, to discuss treatment options. In urgent situations, calling emergency services or visiting the hospital may be necessary. Like any addiction, the decision to stop must ultimately come from the person struggling with alcohol use disorder. However, you can still be a guiding light, gently nudging them toward change. It all starts with creating an environment where they feel supported, not judged and opening up conversations about the possibility of seeking help.
Don’t Accept Unacceptable Behavior
Sometimes that stress comes from the alcoholic themselves, but often it comes from frustration with ourselves, and the choices we make concerning the alcoholic. They can provide a support system and judgement-free space to discuss your thoughts and feelings. Engage in activities that help you relax and feel good about yourself. This could include finding a hobby, exercising, meditating, or spending time in nature. Many people living with alcoholics participate in individual therapy. Sometimes people involved with people with AUD need help to behave in a less codependent manner.
Addiction rehab
Self-care often takes a back seat when you are living with an alcoholic, but prioritising your own well-being will help you maintain balance in a chaotic situation. This means carving out time to do things that make you happy, spending time with supportive family and friends or even stepping away temporarily when things become overwhelming. Sometimes, taking a break can be a wake-up call for your loved one, showing them that their drinking is driving a wedge between you.
Often an alcoholic is ashamed of what they are doing, and they will try to place the blame for their behavior on someone else. When the alcoholic begins to blame you, remind yourself that you are not the cause of this –the alcohol is. The alcoholic is just trying to find a way to live with the daily addiction, one that doesn’t make them feel any worse than they already do.
Enabling occurs when someone else covers up or makes excuses for the person who has a SUD. As a result, the person with a SUD doesn’t deal with the consequences of their actions. Substance use disorder is a primary, chronic, and progressive disease that sometimes can be fatal. No matter your background or expertise, your loved one will likely need outside help.
The don’ts of talking to your alcoholic partner about their drinking
- Groups like Al-Anon offer peer support and access to other resources.
- Support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous offer a safe space where you can share your experiences, gain insights from others who have been in your shoes and feel less isolated.
- At a certain point, it’s important to recognize the signs that you and your family are at risk, and that intervention is necessary.
- These groups can provide a judgement-free space to discuss your experiences and connect with others going through similar situations.
- When your loved one swears to you and to themselves that they will never touch another drop of alcohol, you might believe them.
Ultimately, someone with alcohol use disorder must accept help if they want to recover. However, there are several things you can do to provide support and living with an alcoholic how to live with an alcoholic encouragement. Read on to better understand the challenges, and solutions, of living with an alcoholic partner or spouse. Children who grow up with a parent with AUD are more likely to misuse alcohol themselves later in life. They’re also at a higher risk for other challenges, including difficulties forming close relationships, lying, and self-judgment.